Jazz Professional               

 

Purple Humour

 

submitted by Mia De Haas

Seen in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER.  PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second-hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING
MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR
FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU
HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.  (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON
THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)